Best Quotes From "Self-help for Stoners" by Robert Chazz

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Self-help for Stoners is the perfect bathroom book: short suspenseful stories to burn through. Don’t let the title scare you away. Stoner or not, you’ll love it. This is a fun book of surprising fiction with gut-punch endings and a self-help twist. Funny and tragic, never boring and often inspiring, this is the collection you wish you had at the beginning of your journey. If you had this book years ago, you wouldn’t be lost now. Find yourself again. It’s not too late to save yourself. Plug these parables into your head and see the hilarious truth through fiction’s bold lies.

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Author bio

A former journalist, Robert Chazz Chute is the author of seven ebooks and has won seven writing awards of wildly varying importance. He worked in book publishing for several years at various publishing companies that are now deceased. (He didn’t kill those publishers, though. It was suicide in almost every case.)

Self-help for Stoners is also available in paperback and Chazz has three suspense novels coming out in 2012. He’s noted for strange, violent tendencies toward mimes and his weekly comedy/narrative podcast also goes by the name Self-help for Stoners. Don’t be put off by that name. It’s a cheap, craven marketing ploy.

Learn more about his books, plots and plans or hear the podcast at http://www.AllThatChazz.com. You can also download the Self-help for Stoners podcast from iTunes. Alternatively, use the Stitcher Radio app for your listening pleasure during funerals, prostate exams and waiting for the merciful Apocalypse.

Chazz’s site for writers is http://www.ChazzWrites.com. In addition, you can follow him on:

Twitter – @rchazzchute
Facebook – Robert Chazz Chute
g+ – Robert Chazz

Best Quotes From "Self-help for Stoners"

There’s where I went to elementary school. There’s the bank. There’s the high school football field. Under those bleachers is where I let my first boyfriend disappoint me horribly.
Every house smells different. My childhood home smelled like a blend of daffodils, fear and the sweat of racists.
Anything that takes you away from the life you love is death. If you’re not doing what you love, you’re a zombie. It occurs to you then that maybe you love zombie books and movies so much because you identify with the dead. The second half of the pot cookie must be kicking in.
The telemarketer you snarled and laughed and screamed at still has your telephone number. And your address.
You could be the better you that you dream of. You could change. Or you could turn on the TV for just one more hour. Choose.
Lena smiles at you. She can see you perfectly and she even likes what she sees. No. Better: She forgives what she sees. If a mere human can forgive you, then God has to, right?
To fight the power, you have to feel your power. They have no idea how scary you’re prepared to be so you can stay free.
She was as addictive as cocaine and twice as good for you.
The difference between a wage slave and a regular slave is that a regular slave hates his master. Wage slaves hate themselves. And their masters.
Art is something you consume. You eat it with your eyes. Art makes you want to reach… When a snob calls you a wannabe, can you blithely retort, “No, baby. I’m no wannabe. I’m doing it, bitch.